I just got back from our annual Connolly Family camping trip and it was amazing. It was full of memories that I know are going to last me a life time. Full of laughs that filled my heart, and full of life that enhanced mine.
This time this camping trip was not just for fun, but for therapy. I realized a lot about myself by looking at my family. I realized that I have so many faucets of my character that are amazing, and strange. I realized that I most of the time know that I want, but I am so unsure at the same time. I also realized strangely while sitting around the campfire drinking tea, that i proceed in life almost the same way I drink tea.
Most of the time, i pour my tea. Figure out what type of tea I want. Let it brew the same way I do my relationships. Then I wait, and wait, and wait. I test the water with my finger and after a while I finally decide to drink it. By that point I am in love with the tea, I never want it to go empty or cold, but of course it does, because its tea. I realized I have to test the water before even putting my lips to the rim of the cup, because I am so afraid of getting burned. Im so afraid, yet I know that I will recover.
I realized that I am so afraid of so many things because I know that they might hurt. But I guess its okay to be hurt a little bit, its okay to recover, and its okay to learn from that burn. It will make me a stronger woman from it.
So now I am home and on to my next learning experience that may come my way. I am excited to learn how to cope on my own, how to truly value my own emotions, wants, and wishes. I am excited to learn how to make a friendship thrive and grow despite awkward struggles that might come about. Im excited about change for the first time in my life.... yet scared shitless.... but thats okay.
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