Hello. I am back from a long beautiful weekend, but I really wish I wasnt. It's now back to the grind of work for the next couple of days and then off to the Redwoods for a little peace and quiet. This weekend I turned off my phone and ventured up to Sacramento and Grass Valley to spend time with my 2 roomies and our families. It was a weekend full of sunshine, laughter, and memories. But admist all of this beautifulness I still managed to have my anxiety strike me.
Anxiety, for those that dont know me, is one of my greatest challenges. Anything that is left unsettled in my life stirs up butterflies in my stomach and churns it into knots. My brain doesn't want to act the way I wish it would, my words come out all jumbled, and my emotions become more extreeme with all of this. I just wish I had a solution. I wish I had a way to be at peace again with everything I go through. I wish I found a little more passion in my life.
I have been trying to find solutions to this problem. These solutions often consist of baking endless desserts, exercising to the point where my body cant fight back, and curling up in bed to a movie or a book. None of these things ever seem to really solve my problem, they only help push it further and further back from my mind.
Sometimes I feel as if I am the one who is responsible for all this anxiety and maybe I am. Maybe I just need to drastically change my lifestyle to prevent any ounce of stress from entering my life, but is that even really possible?
I guess its time for me to try and see if I can find a solution to all this mess. Off to work and to later explore.
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